By Madison Weber, MHC-LP
The holiday season, with its twinkling lights and festive cheer, can be a joyous time of year.
However, for many, it also brings a unique set of challenges that can test our emotional and mental resilience.
With the winter holidays around the corner, you may be preparing to navigate time spent with family and friends.
Whether it’s a holiday party or a week spent with family, it’s essential to be mindful of our boundaries and recognize when they need reinforcement.
Maybe you’ve been working with a therapist on setting boundaries, or you’re trying them out on your own, setting boundaries can help you feel more empowered and less anxious as you enter the holiday season.
But what do we do when we have our boundaries outlined for ourselves, and it’s time to implement them or reinforce them with others?
It can feel incredibly daunting and possibly create feelings of anxiety, guilt or embarrassment to reinforce your boundaries with family and friends. You may feel as though you’re hurting the feelings of those around you.
To make this process easier, let’s explore the signs that indicate it’s time to set or strengthen boundaries and provide actionable tips on how to navigate these boundaries during the holiday season.
Recognizing the Signs
Feeling Overwhelmed:
The hustle and bustle of holiday preparations combined with social obligations can quickly become overwhelming.
If you find yourself feeling stressed, anxious, or emotionally drained, it may be a sign that you need to establish clear boundaries to protect your well-being. This might look like saying “no,” to certain events, or asking for help when it comes to preparing food, providing resources, or shopping for gifts.
Resentment Creeping In:
Resentment often arises when we feel our needs are consistently overlooked or when we’re stretched too thin. If you catch yourself harboring resentment towards others or the holiday demands, it’s time to assess and communicate your boundaries.
Physical and Emotional Exhaustion:
The holiday season can be physically and emotionally demanding, especially if you’re someone who feels responsible for other people’s emotions.
If you’re neglecting self-care and constantly pushing yourself beyond your limits, it’s a clear indication that boundaries need to be set. Exhaustion is a red flag that your well-being is at risk.
Lack of Personal Time:
Everyone deserves moments of solitude and self-reflection, especially during busy seasons. You may be someone who enjoys these social engagements and thrive in these environments.
However, if you’re someone who needs to recharge on your own, this season may leave you feeling dysregulated, anxious and stressed. It’s crucial to carve out space for yourself during the holidays.
Once you begin to notice and identify the signs that you need to set boundaries, it becomes time to bravely and courageously set these boundaries.
Setting Boundaries
Clarify Your Priorities:
Before communicating your boundaries to other people, you will need to identify them for yourself. Begin by identifying your priorities for the holiday season.
What activities or gatherings hold the most significance for you? Clarifying your priorities allows you to allocate your time and energy more intentionally.
Communicate Openly:
Open communication is key to establishing and maintaining boundaries. Communicate your needs and limitations to those around you, expressing your feelings and concerns honestly. Letting others know what you can and cannot commit to sets clear expectations.
Learn to Say No:
Saying no is a powerful tool for boundary enforcement. Politely decline invitations or requests that you cannot accommodate. Remember that saying no is not a rejection of others; it’s an affirmation of your own well-being.
Tip:
Try not to let guilt drive your decisions.
Delegate Responsibilities:
If holiday preparations become overwhelming, consider delegating tasks to others. Whether it’s assigning responsibilities to family members or seeking help from friends, sharing the load ensures that you don’t bear the burden alone.
Holding Boundaries During the Holiday Season
Self-Care Rituals:
Prioritize self-care rituals that rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit. Whether it’s a quiet walk, meditation, or reading a book, these moments of self-care will help you stay grounded amidst the holiday chaos.
Schedule Breaks:
Intentionally schedule breaks during social gatherings to recharge, especially if they are long term commitments. Find a quiet corner, take a short walk, or engage in an activity that brings you joy. These breaks allow you to maintain your energy and avoid burnout.
Stick to Your Priorities:
As the holiday season progresses, stay true to your identified priorities. It’s easy to get swept up in the expectations of others, but holding onto your priorities ensures a more meaningful and fulfilling experience for yourself.
Tip:
Write down your priorities somewhere you will see them everyday to continuously remind yourself of your needs and preferences.
Reevaluate as Needed:
Boundaries are not set in stone! As circumstances change, be open to reevaluating and adjusting your boundaries. Flexibility is essential, and reassessing your needs ensures that your boundaries remain effective.
The holiday season should be a time of joy, connection, and celebration.
By recognizing the signs that indicate a need for boundaries and implementing strategies to establish and hold them, you can navigate this festive season with greater ease and fulfillment, and less anxiety and stress.
Remember, setting boundaries is an act of self-love and preservation, allowing you to savor the magic of the holidays while safeguarding your well-being.
