Therapy for Special Needs Parents
Do You Have A Special Needs Child And Need Some Support?
Are you the parent of a child who is neurodivergent and is autistic, has ADHD, a learning disability, or a mood disorder?
Do you struggle with the challenges your child faces due to their special needs?
Even though you love your child and give them all the attention you can, have their difficulties impacted your mental health?
Maybe your child is struggling to make friends, keep up in school, and regulate their emotions. Perhaps you feel burnt out from trying to support them, and now you find yourself dealing with anxiety, depression, sleep troubles, and loss of energy and motivation. You may feel lonely or powerless and wish you had someone to talk to as the parent of a special needs child, and therapy may be exactly what could help.
Raising A Special Needs Child Creates Unique Challenges
While your neurodivergent child’s siblings and friends are likely attending activities, birthday parties, and play dates, you may notice that your special needs child has to miss because of therapies and related services, isn’t invited, or doesn’t want to participate. This could be due to their fear of social situations, trouble with concentration, language delays, emotional dysregulation, or other symptoms related to their special needs.
You might feel unable to shoulder all the tasks and responsibilities required for raising a child with such complexities. Sometimes you may feel shame for wishing that your child didn’t have these unique challenges—after all, you want to accept them for who they are. Perhaps you’ve gone above and beyond to get your child help, connecting them with therapists, social workers, and other specialists. Yet in the meantime, your own self-care has gone unaddressed and you’ve been left with little support.
If you could just believe that you are enough for your child, you’d have the confidence to get through the day’s challenges and feel hopeful about your child’s future. Acknowledging that you need help to support yourself is a great first step. Counseling with Inside Psychotherapy can help parents of special needs children regain balance, hope, and joy in their lives.
It’s Very Common To Blame Yourself For Your Child’s Special Needs
A lot of parents of neurodivergent children might not feel like their issues are relevant, yet statistics show that they face common difficulties and they could all benefit greatly from support.
In the US, 10-13 percent of children ages six and up are diagnosed with ADHD (1), and 1 out of 100 children worldwide are autistic. (2) This number is growing with increasing awareness around autism and experts believe the rate to be substantially higher with one 2020 study estimating that 1 in 36 children aged 8 years has autism. (3) Furthermore, 15 percent of public school students received special education within the 2021-2022 year (4), and 9 percent of children ages 3 – 17 have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. (5).
Social Isolation And A Lack Of Support Makes Parenting More Difficult
Many people are still unraveling the effects of the coronavirus pandemic on anxiety levels, and this could not be more true for the effects it has had on neurodivergent children and by extension, their parents. The effects of the extended lack of school and social activities, combined with the acute and prolonged stress on families may never be fully understood. Parents are nonetheless left to cope with the aftershocks of it, oftentimes without any help in understanding these challenges.
Some challenges parents face as they work through the demands of parenting include continued social stigma and lack of awareness around neurodiverse children. Many parents learn through hard experience that schools are not often equipped for supporting students with special needs who think and learn differently or need additional help. Parents are asked to learn about their kids’ rights in school at the same time they are required to advocate for them.
There is a fine line between knowing when your child requires more support, and when you’re doing all you can for them. Therapy can help parents untangle these complications and provide a helping hand to face each day with confidence.
There Is No Handbook For Parents Of Special Needs Children But Help Is Available
Many parents feel fearful about their kids’ futures and their abilities to learn, socialize, and live independently and these fears can become overwhelming. Counseling is a place to explore your feelings without fear of judgment and identify where you ruminate and get stuck in negative thoughts and behavior patterns as the parent of a special needs child.
We want to know first and foremost how you are feeling, and give you a space to express yourself and your worries freely. In addition to individual therapy, we offer group support , so parents can feel less alone and isolated as they navigate their parenting journeys. The long-term goal is to help parents develop tools so they can feel more grounded and remain as steady as possible when their children are struggling.
In therapy, we offer a lot of support for the emotional work of parents of special needs children but also work on self-acceptance. We can’t fix everything, and in a lot of cases we learn our kids don’t “need fixing.” We can take in an infinite amount of information on our child’s neurodivergent issues, and we may even make strides in helping them achieve their goals – socially, academically, or otherwise. But this is exhausting to do on your own, especially while you’re trying to manage your own mental health challenges. That’s why therapy is so vital.
When Parents Feel More Supported, Children Benefit Too
We use a relational approach in therapy, meaning we aim to form a trusting alliance so you feel deeply supported. Having an unconditionally positive relationship with your therapist while supporting special needs children can give parents a foundation to continue to build supportive relationships in their social world.
Additionally, we utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help you identify any guilt, shame, or uncomfortable and unhelpful thoughts and feelings related to your child’s struggles. We’ll give you strategies that you can use in everyday life to reduce your discomfort or anxiety.
Furthermore, we take a mindfulness approach to help you be more in tune with your emotions and practice self-compassion. People with special needs children are surprised when they realize how hard they are on themselves with their parenting, and the impossible demands they navigate with no extra support.
At Inside Psychotherapy, our main message to you is you are not alone and help is available. You are among the many parents who are dealing with similar concerns, and while it may feel unfair and sometimes insurmountably hard, the challenges you face are manageable with the right support. Your children are not broken and neither are you. We are here to validate your feelings, support you through these tough times, and celebrate the victories with you too.
You May Still Have Concerns About Therapy for Special Needs Parents…
I feel like I can't get anything right as a parent, how can therapy help?
It’s normal to look for reasons why your child may be developing, learning, or behaving differently from a neurotypical child but it’s important to understand that you did not cause your child’s special needs. You will continue to learn new information and seek guidance as your child grows, and some children with thinking and learning differences benefit from different types of support. We encourage you to give yourself grace as you walk this path, as you learn and love your children.
My pediatrician keeps telling me children develop at their own pace. But something keeps telling me there's more going on here.
We encourage you to “trust your gut.” Nobody knows your child better than you do. As we support your emotional health in therapy, we are also a resource for outside professionals so you gather more information and grow your child’s treatment team as needed. Additionally, we can help you determine how to proceed with your child’s care.
I'm exhausted. How do I press on?
We understand how challenging having a special needs child can be for parents and their families, and we will support you in creating more balance in your life. It’s very common to get overwhelmed by books, blogs, podcasts, webinars, and meetings without coming up for air. We will help you carve out some time that is also just for you.
Let Us Support You As You Walk Your Own Unique Parenting Path
Reach out to Inside Psychotherapy at 917-310-0512 or use our online form for a free, 15-minute consultation. Therapy can help parents just like you feel confident in your ability to help children with special needs.
