Being a parent is a full-time job on its own. But, when you add a career to it, it can be hard to strike a healthy work-life balance. Unfortunately, that becomes even harder when you’re dealing with anxiety and/or depression. If you find yourself feeling out of balance with “work/life” (what really is the difference anyway??), and then feeling bad about THAT, you are not alone!
Did you ever see the commercial for an over the counter cold medicine when the parent peeks into their kids’ rooms and said they aren’t feeling well, they’re taking a day off? We can imagine all parents who saw that commercial had a good chuckle.
But, while there’s a common misconception that parents don’t get “days off,” While you can’t step away from your duties as a parent or in your career, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take time for yourself to balance work, physical health and mental health.
With that in mind, let’s look at a few strategies you can use as a working parent to cope with depression and find the balance you deserve.
Prioritize Self-Care
As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
You might be so busy doing things for your family, your job, and everyone else that you neglect your own needs. But, that will only make your mental state worse and will cause burnout very quickly.
It’s important to understand that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a necessity. If you don’t have a lot of time each day to dedicate to self-care practices, focus on adding a few small things to your daily, weekly, even monthly routine that are meant to boost your mental well-being.
That might include things like exercising each day, getting enough sleep each night, or writing in a journal; you know, the obvious ones that we hear about all the time. But it’s critical that you also find ways that are unique to YOU to help you ground yourself, and remind yourself that you are more than your work or parent title.
Relaxation techniques like mindfulness, meditation, and deep breathing can help, too. If you struggle to find time for these things, think of ways you can incorporate your family. Go on a walk around the neighborhood each evening. It can help you reconnect while getting the exercise you need to feel even a little bit better. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel better right away. These small activities are cumulative, and over time you will start to feel the benefits.
Be Realistic
It’s not uncommon for working parents to think they can do it all, all the time. There’s no reason you can’t have a fulfilling career and be a great parent. But, you have to be realistic about your expectations so you can set healthy boundaries that meet your needs, not just your family’s or your job’s.
Accept the fact that you can’t do everything. You are only one person! When you realize that, you can prioritize the tasks that are the most important and let go of the smaller things that might have been holding you back.
Most importantly, and we know this is much easier said than done for many of us, decline commitments that aren’t necessary. You don’t have to say “yes” to everything at work if you know you want to spend more time with your family. And you don’t have to say yes to everything your family asks for. Setting these boundaries can reduce your stress, making it easier to manage symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Lean On Your Support System
There might be times when you feel totally alone when it comes to what you’re feeling. Rest assured, you are not.Depression and anxiety can cause you to feel isolated, and make you withdraw from people you love and things you enjoy. That will end up making your symptoms worse, which becomes a vicious cycle of shame, guilt, and more isolation and avoidance.
Now is the time to lean on the people in your life who will be there for you. If you have a partner or co-parent, ask for their help to do things you might not always have time for. Make sure you’re spending time with friends or other parents who might be in similar situations. If you have the means to outsource some of the work, do it!
Therapy can help you better understand the root of your symptoms. Once you know where they stem from, you can take active steps forward to feel better. Not only will therapy help with symptom management, but it will give you the strategies necessary to overcome anxiety and depression and find the balance that feels so elusive, and that you so desperately need.
It is possible to balance work and mental health as a working parent! But it’s an ongoing journey, not a destination. Feel free to reach out today for more information or to set up a consultation, and we can walk the road together.
It’s important to understand that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a necessity.
