By: Madison Weber, MHC-LP
Supporting teenagers in therapy is a crucial yet delicate process that requires parents to be mindful, patient, and empathetic.
As a teen therapist, I’ve witnessed the profound impact that parental involvement can have on the therapeutic journey of adolescents. Here’s a beginner’s guide for parents to support their teens effectively in therapy.
Understanding the Therapeutic Process
Educate Yourself About Therapy
It’s essential for parents to understand what therapy entails.
Therapy is a safe space where teens can express their thoughts and feelings without judgment.
Familiarize yourself with different therapeutic approaches that might be used by their therapist, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), or family therapy. This knowledge will help you understand the process and its potential benefits.
Normalize Therapy
Discuss therapy as a healthy and normal part of self-care. Avoid treating it as a sign that something is “wrong” with your teen.
Normalizing therapy can reduce the stigma and make your teen more comfortable with the process. It can also demonstrate to your teen that you support them being in therapy.
Creating a Supportive Environment
Provide Emotional Support
Your teen needs to feel supported and understood.
Be a non-judgmental listener. Validate their feelings and experiences without immediately trying to solve their problems. Sometimes, a simple “I understand” or “That sounds tough,” can go a long way.
Tip: You can also ask them what they need from you in these sharing moments!
Respect Their Privacy
Therapy is a personal journey. While you as the parent have a legal right to view your child’s records, I typically discourage this when working with teens.
It’s important to respect your teen’s need for privacy regarding their sessions. Your teen and their therapist are working to build a trusting relationship, and the knowledge that parents are looking at session notes may cause teens to withhold information or feel that it’s unsafe to share.
Encourage open communication, and try to avoid prying into the specifics of what they discuss in therapy unless they willingly share.
Be Patient
Therapy is not an overnight fix. Progress can be slow and non-linear. Be patient and recognize that setbacks are a normal part of the process. Celebrate small victories and remain hopeful.
Practical Support
Facilitate Attendance
Ensure that your teen can consistently attend therapy sessions. This might involve providing transportation or scheduling sessions at convenient times. Consistency is key to making progress in therapy.
Encourage Healthy Habits
Therapy works best when complemented by a healthy lifestyle. Encourage your teen to maintain a balanced diet, get regular exercise, and ensure adequate sleep. These factors can significantly impact their mental well-being.
Communication and Involvement
Open Lines of Communication
While respecting their privacy, keep the lines of communication open. Let your teen know that you are available to talk if they want to discuss their therapy or any other issues they are facing.
Collaborate with the Therapist
With your teen’s consent, stay in touch with their therapist. This can help you understand how to best support your teen outside of sessions. Be open to feedback and willing to make changes based on the therapist’s recommendations.
Tip: Having a teen in therapy can feel scary for parents. It may feel like there is a loss of control as your child discloses personal information to someone who isn’t you. I think it’s important for therapists and parents to have a trusting relationship, and for parents to know that their teen’s therapist will be forthcoming when you need to be informed of content from a session.
Participate in Family Therapy
If recommended, participate in family therapy sessions. This can help address systemic issues and improve family dynamics.
It also shows your teen that you are committed to working on the relationship and supporting their mental health.
Dealing with Resistance
Addressing Reluctance
It’s not uncommon for teens to be reluctant about therapy.
Try to approach this with empathy and patience. Have an open conversation about their fears or concerns regarding therapy. Sometimes, allowing them to choose their therapist or involving them in the decision-making process can help.
If something about therapy doesn’t feel right, encourage them to address this with their therapist.
Avoid Ultimatums
Therapy should not be framed as a punishment or an ultimatum. This can create resistance and hinder the therapeutic process. Instead, frame it as a supportive resource that can help them navigate their challenges.
Self-Care for Parents
Take Care of Yourself
Supporting a teen in therapy can be emotionally draining. Ensure that you are also taking care of your own mental and emotional health.
With all teens I work with, I encourage their parents to also be in individual therapy.
Additional sources of support include joining a support group, or practicing regular self-care routines.
Manage Expectations
It’s important to manage your expectations. Therapy is a process, and progress can be slow. Avoid putting pressure on your teen or the therapist to achieve quick results.
Trust the process and be supportive.
Encouraging Growth
Foster Independence
Encourage your teen to take an active role in their therapy.
This fosters a sense of ownership and independence. Encourage them to practice the skills and strategies they learn in therapy in their daily life.
Be a Role Model
Model healthy coping mechanisms and communication skills.
Teens often learn by observing their parents.
Demonstrating a positive attitude towards mental health and self-care can inspire your teen to adopt similar practices.
Addressing Special Circumstances
Be Mindful of Triggers
If your teen has specific triggers or areas of sensitivity, be mindful and respectful of these.
Work with the therapist to understand how you can avoid or address these triggers in a supportive manner.
Advocate for Your Teen
If your teen is dealing with issues at school or in social settings, advocate for them. Work with school counselors or administrators to ensure they receive the support they need. This advocacy shows your teen that you are on their side.
Supporting your teen in therapy requires a delicate balance of involvement, empathy, and patience. By educating yourself about the therapeutic process, creating a supportive environment, and fostering open communication, you can play a pivotal role in your teen’s journey towards mental well-being. Remember, therapy is a collaborative effort, and your support can make a significant difference in your teen’s progress and overall mental health.
