By Alena Gerst, LCSW RYT
As a parent around May, I always feel like I’m cranking out every last bit of energy and resources I can muster with end of school year celebrations, performances, events, and showcases, both at school and with extracurricular activities.
As soon as the weather begins warming up, I start mentally preparing myself for the hustle, on top of the rush to enjoy the newly warming weather to the fullest. I also often find myself planning and preparing as much as I can for my kids’ potential emotional fallout when the school year is over and we transition into summer.
The beginning of the school year can sneak up on you.
But the beginning of the school year…that intense ramping up of activities, alarm clocks, expectations, new classes, teachers, and classmates after the slower pace of summer tends to sneak up on me.
Year after year, I forget how much September kicks my butt.
But I’m noticing the more I talk to parents about it, the more we are commiserating on how stressful this time of year can be. We not only worry for the increased demands on our children, but the increased demands on getting our kids awake, dressed, fed and off the school. Then there’s the juggle of homework, playdates, after school activities, and vigilantly guarded downtime.
It’s no secret or surprise that anxiety in children is at an all time high. And when children are anxious, parents are undoubtedly anxious too.
Some of the more common concerns about returning to school that come up in my conversations include:
- Will they make new friends?
- How are we going to manage homework this year?
- Will they resist or avoid school?
- How are we going to get through juggling school obligations with social and downtime needs?
- Will they excel in school?
Three main themes come up in these chats that I want to address here as a possible way to think about going into the school year.
Waiting For School to Start
Some schools are just getting underway, while others are starting very soon. The anxiety of anticipation can be agonizing, as we watch summer dwindle away. Emails from schools for supplies, dress codes, and class information are starting to trickle (or pour!) in. Parent email threads, text groups, and WhatsApp chats are lighting up again. It’s nice to reconnect! It’s also a reminder that the juggle is real, and it’s just around the corner.
I find it helps to picture myself in the waiting room for a long-anticipated doctors appointment, that I’ve known is coming, but have been keeping in the back of my mind. And now I’m back to this annual visit. The sounds and smells of the office are familiar. The feeling of anticipation (and some anxiety) is too.
How do you calm yourself when you’re waiting for something that you know is going to happen, you realize needs to happen, and about which you may have mixed feelings?
Maybe you will miss spending time with your kids and the ease of summer. Or maybe you are as excited as they are to get back to a structure and routine, and extended time with friends while at school. Either way, back-to-school anxiety may be helped by the idea that you are in a waiting room, and the end of waiting is near. Very soon, your [children(s)’] name will be called, and you’ll be on your way into the next school year.
Wondering About School
Along with waiting comes all of the questions. Among many of the questions, you may be wondering:
- -Who will be in the class?
- -Will the coursework be manageable?
- -How will we navigate homework?
- -How long will it take to adjust to the early mornings?
- -What will become of old friendships?
- -Will she/he/they make new friends this year?
- And most crucially, you wonder if your kid will be ok. Especially if they have extra emotional, physical, and learning needs. What will this school year bring?
It may help to keep in mind that there will undoubtedly be challenges. There will also likely be victories. Imagine where you were last year at this time, and all of the things you wondered about going into the school year. Are you still wondering about those things? Have any of them resolved, leaving you to wonder about new concerns?
Just know that wondering how the school year will unfold goes hand in hand with back-to-school anxiety. Most importantly, allow yourself to ask the questions, to wonder about them, and also to know that you are not alone in your wonders. Parents everywhere have similar concerns and questions as you do. And the only way to get those answers is to go through the experience.
Hoping For Good Outcomes
It goes without saying that hope is a huge part of parenting. We all hold hopes for our children that they will excel, and grow into independent lives that are fulfilling and joyful. Children come into the world with different abilities, challenges, and vulnerabilities. Our concerns about these differences come into sharper focus as we get ready for the next school year.
One of our pillars as therapists is to discover what your hopes are, and help you take active steps to realize them, to the extent possible. That doesn’t mean in any way trying to help you change your children. But along with hope comes finding out what’s possible. Hope is a cornerstone to anxiety therapy.
Along with the fears, the hopes that come along with back-to-school anxiety will light your path forward as you ease into the new school year. Just know this: come what may, you can and will deal with whatever challenges await you. We at Inside Psychotherapy are ready to support you along the way with this year’s challenges. And we’re also poised to celebrate victories with you too.
Are You Raising a Neurodiverse Child in NYC? If You Are in Need of Support, Reach Out for Special Needs Parenting in NYC!
Raising a neurodiverse child in New York City requires navigating an intricate web of support systems and resources. By embracing neurodiversity, understanding the available support options, and actively advocating for your child, you can create an environment that fosters their growth, development, and overall well-being.
And we at Inside Psychotherapy are here to help!
- Learn more about our skilled team of therapists here.
- Fill out our convenient online contact form.
- Begin the journey to a life free from anxiety!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Inside Psychotherapy, NYC.
In addition to Special Needs Parenting support, we offer a wide variety of therapy services designed to meet you where you are in your life. We also offer services both online and in person. We also utilize several different treatment modalities including CBT, Eclectic Psychotherapy, Mindfulness, and Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. Our services include therapy for:
