By Madison Weber, MHC-LP, Associate Therapist
Living in a fast-paced city like New York as a high-performing woman can be both incredibly exciting and exhausting.
On one hand, you might be living the life you’ve always dreamed of, and experiencing endless opportunities. On the other hand, this lifestyle can come with overwhelming feelings of pressure to excel in your career, while also juggling personal responsibilities.
The Potential to Lead to Burnout
This has the potential to lead to burnout, not only professionally, but also in your personal life. In order to ensure that your mental and physical health thrives in this system, it’s essential to set boundaries and manage expectations.
What Does Setting Boundaries Mean?
Setting boundaries basically means “defining your own space.” The intention is to ensure that your needs take priority when necessary. Setting boundaries might be harder for some than others, especially for women. Making an ask of someone, taking up space, and putting yourself first can be a strange phenomenon if you’re used to prioritizing the needs and comfort of others. Often, this can be misconstrued as “selfish,” or produces a feeling of guilt in the person setting the boundary.
I like to think about it in terms of longevity- “I need to set a boundary in this situation now so that I am able to have a relationship with this person moving forward.” By setting boundaries, you will allow yourself to fulfill your needs in your own way. While the idea of setting boundaries may feel daunting, one light at the end of the tunnel is that it will likely lead to less stress, anxiety, and feelings of burnout.
Setting Boundaries Provides a Guideline For How You Want to Be Treated
Setting healthy boundaries provides a guideline for others that highlights ways in which you want to be treated. Without boundaries, lines in relationships have the potential to become blurred, and you may notice you feel less respected or cared for. This is where you take matters into your own hands and set healthy boundaries with others to allow your relationships to grow in new ways.
So, How Do You Even Get Started Setting Boundaries?
Here are some questions to help you uncover your needs.
What are your priorities?
Start by outlining and defining priorities related to your personal and professional life. This might include long-term goals in all aspects of your life, as well as your values. Use a ranking system to categorize this list in order of importance. This list will help you determine where your energy and attention should be devoted moving forward.
How can I communicate this to others?
The next step will be to effectively communicate your priorities with your friends, family, and colleagues. You’ve identified where you want to put your energy and attention, so it’s okay to say “no” to something if it does not align with your priorities. There is a misconception that setting boundaries is forceful and can be perceived as mean. However, you can establish these boundaries with others in a clear, concise, and assertive, yet kind way. Enforce your boundaries and limits.
Example: You are invited out for a night out with friends, but have work to do before a deadline tomorrow. You want to see your friends but also don’t want to miss your deadline. A boundary could be: “I will come to hang out until 8 pm!”
I’ve set a boundary with people in my life, but I’m still struggling to get things done.
As a high-achieving woman living in a city that never sleeps, it’s going to feel like you need to take on the world in order to simply get by. However, just because the city doesn’t sleep doesn’t mean that you can get by that way too. It is impossible to do everything on your own. One skill you may benefit from is delegating tasks to others. This will help you manage your workload. Try to become comfortable trusting and delegating tasks to capable colleagues, friends, or family members. You don’t have to conquer the world, and no one expects you to.
I’ve identified my priorities, set boundaries, and taken some things off of my plate by delegating, now what?
Don’t forget to establish boundaries with yourself as well. Personal boundaries can be important to ensure you maintain a work-life balance and prioritize self-care.
The Role of Self-Care in Balancing High-Performance Demands and Mental Health.
Self-care might look like exercising, spending time with friends, or finding a hobby, anything that allows you to feel mentally, physically, and emotionally recharged. This will have a significant impact on your levels of stress and anxiety.
This doesn’t feel like enough, and I’m still stuck.
You are not alone in the feeling of being frozen when it comes to setting boundaries with others. Setting boundaries may create even more anxiety for some people, and it’s important to address this.
Anxiety Therapy for Women in Manhattan, NY Can Help Identify Needs
Anxiety Therapy for Women can be helpful for a number of challenges you may be facing, setting boundaries with others as one. An anxiety therapist can help you identify your needs and uncover what fears you might have around setting boundaries. You will also have the opportunity to learn additional skills such as mindfulness practices and coping skills with a therapist that specializes in Anxiety Therapy for Women.
There are so many benefits to your mental health that come with setting boundaries. You will feel less stressed and anxious, which will likely lead to more productivity in your professional life and joy in your personal life.
As a high-performing woman in NYC, it can be easy to neglect setting boundaries in the name of success. However, they are crucial to prosper in both your personal and professional life in the city.
Are You Ready to Start Anxiety Therapy in Manhattan, NY?
Anxiety is the most common mental health challenge in the United States. If you live in a big city and are struggling with anxiety, know that you’re not alone, and professional support is available. At Inside Psychotherapy we have a skilled team of therapists that are ready to help you break the cycle of anxiety. Follow the steps below to get started!
- Learn more about our skilled team of therapists here.
- Fill out our convenient online contact form.
- Begin the journey to a life free from anxiety!
Other Therapy Services Offered at Inside Psychotherapy, NYC.
In addition to Anxiety Therapy, we offer a wide variety of therapy services designed to meet you where you are in your life. We also offer services both online and in person. We also utilize several different treatment modalities including CBT, Eclectic Psychotherapy, Mindfulness, and Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. Our services include therapy for:
