Though it may seem hard to believe, the average time and adult spends on social media every day is two hours. One can only imagine (or remember!) what we used to do with that time before tech took such a front seat in our lives.
No matter which platform you prefer, there’s no denying that spending that much time on something will impact your daily life, from how you socialize, show up at work, maintain your home, and the way you parent.
Social media can influence your parenting style in more ways than you might think. Some parents express value for social media in general for parenting support, or learning from one another. There are countless reels, tiktok’s and Facebook groups for parents seeking support for various mental and physical health disabilities, parenting styles, and familial lifestyles.
When it comes to social media use specifically, studies have shown that parents who use social media frequently might be more permissive in allowing their children to use it at a younger age, which has also been shown to have detrimental effects on a child’s confidence, development and skill building.
Let’s take a closer look at how social media can affect your parenting style and what you should be aware of if you continue to scroll.
High Expectations, Comparison, and Anxiety
Looking at other people’s curated and “perfect” lives on social media can take a toll on how you see yourself and your children. Most people are sharing their images of their lives, implicitly or explicitly implying wealth, health, ease, and boundless privilege. Taking in these images for literally hours every day will have a negative impact on your self esteem and self worth. It’s hard to imagine how heavy hitting these kinds of images land with young people. It’s easy to start comparing yourself to those people with their seemingly perfect lives.
It’s important to remember that social media is only a curated, airbrushed, heavily edited highlight reel of people’s lives and the image they want to project. Many people spend a lot of time trying to capture the perfect photo, and even more time editing it to look better.
It can be a rare and welcome relief for someone to post a picture or video of what’s really going on behind the scenes!
So, if you see parents posting their perfect children constantly, take it with a grain of salt. If others are talking about their child’s accomplishments or achievements, avoid comparing yourself and your child. Doing so will cause you to feel inadequate and anxious, and can change the way you approach parenting. Better yet, if you check in with yourself after seeing these kinds of posts on repeat by someone you follow, unfollow. It’s not doing you any good to keep looking and comparing yourself to what is essentially only part of the story.
Mental Health Issues
Spending too much time on social media has been shown to negatively impact your mental health, which can have negative effects on your child, in addition to their own social media use. It often causes excess and unnecessary stress and can lead to symptoms or full blown anxiety and depression. There’s so much going on in the world, which unfortunately can mean becomes “doomscrolling” is becoming more common. This kind of information overload will quickly exacerbate feelings of stress and worry that will take a toll on your well-being.
As mentioned earlier, social media is also often full of parenting advice, which can definitely be useful to a point. It can become difficult for parents to discern which information is credible and which isn’t. An information overload, especially when it comes to parenting tips, can start to feel overwhelming and contribute to mental health issues. You might even start to doubt your parenting choices, and create more “noise” in your mind about what to do, so you have a harder time following your parenting instincts.
What Can You Do?
There’s nothing wrong with using social media, even every day. When used judiciously, it has its benefits, including staying connected with friends and family, and fostering a sense of community with other parents.
However, if you find that you’re spending a lot of time scrolling and it’s impacting your well-being or changing the way you look at parenting, it might be time to take a harder look at the role social media is playing in your life. Consider a digital detox, or set boundaries for yourself to only look at social media for a certain amount of time each day, and curate more mindfully what media you are exposing yourself to.
If you’re concerned that social media has already started to impact your well-being or your parenting style, you are not alone. Getting therapy for anxiety or depression, or even social media addiction, can make a big difference in how you feel and how you move forward.