Perfectionism might not seem like a bad thing at a glance. We live in a society with endless marketing campaigns selling perfection. We scroll on social media, sometimes for many hours per day, taking in images of others’ perfect lives, perfect families, perfect vacations, perfect homes, perfect foods. All of this input portraying seemingly effortless perfection does seep into our own expectations for ourselves.
Perfection is more than just wanting to do your very best, or even having high expectations for yourself. Perfectionism occurs when those expectations become unrealistic and nearly impossible.
People who are perfectionists strive for flawlessness, which can negatively affect just about every area of life. Perfectionism often leads to mental health issues like anxiety or depression, as well as burnout from the extreme stress of trying to make zero mistakes. It can also impact your relationships, your career, and even your physical health.
While there is nothing wrong with having high expectations for yourself (within reason), keeping them realistic is essential. If you know you’re struggling with perfectionism, it’s not too late to take steps forward. Let’s cover a few things you can do to beat it.
Identify Your Thoughts and Triggers
The first step to overcome perfectionism is to recognize the situations that tend to trigger your thoughts and behaviors. Maybe you tend to fall into perfectionism patterns at work, potentially leading to burnout and procrastination. Or, maybe you’re more triggered by situations in your personal life, like wanting a certain body type or setting unrealistic goals for your finances.
As mentioned above, we often don’t realize how much media depicting images of perfection we are taking in. All of this is designed to make us buy more products, or strive for a different self, job, personality, partner.
Once you recognize these triggers, you can start to challenge the negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. For example, instead of telling yourself “I have to be perfect at work,” you can work with reframing your thoughts, into something more like, “i am doing my best at work.”
Practice Self-Care
If someone you knew was struggling with perfectionism, you would likely show them kindness and compassion. Make sure you’re doing the same for yourself!
Self-care should be a top priority in your life. Paying attention to your own needs will boost your self-awareness, and help move you towards self-acceptance. Shifting your focus to the journey and the progress you make, rather than solely considering what the end result will be, can be liberating and better for your self esteem. Self-care can also help you recognize your worth, even when you don’t necessarily feel “perfect.”
Find daily self-care practices that fit into your routine, and you’ll be more likely to stick with them. This can range from essential oils in your shower to a lotion you enjoy, food that appeals to you, a little earlier bedtime. Other mindfulness based practices like journaling, a brief regular guided meditation from an app, and physical exercises are all great ways to take care of yourself each day.
Embrace Imperfection
Being imperfect does not = failure! Imperfection = human. It’s important to embrace imperfection, maybe more importantly, even failure, so you can learn from it, learn how to cope with imperfection, and continue to grow.
It can be difficult to step outside of your comfort zone and recognize that imperfections can be a good thing, but try taking baby steps in that direction.
Start by setting realistic goals for yourself and focusing on the journey as you work from one goal to the next. If you stumble along the way or experience a setback, think about what you learned, from a place of compassion rather than self critique, before moving on.
Seek Support
If you’re still struggling with perfectionism and can’t seem to overcome it on your own, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Leaning on friends and family and talking about your struggles is a good place to start. They can help you feel supported and understood even when you’re at a low point.
If you can’t seem to shake your struggle with perfectionism, professional help can also help you sort out your triggers, and cope when the perfectionistic waves seem to wash over you and keep you down.
Being imperfect does not = failure! Imperfection = human.
