By Alena Gerst, LCSW | Founder, Director, Psychotherapist
Ah, parenting.
Being a parent.
Parenthood.
You can’t possibly convey the experience, but when you try to, you will probably affirm that it is all the things. There’s no instruction manual, needs change all the time so once you think you’ve got something down, BANG! Time to change it up!
And even (or especially!) when you think you’re knocking it out of the park, something is likely to happen to make you question yourself or even feel like a failure at times.
Sound familiar?
Enter anxiety.
As parents, it’s easy to be your own worst enemy. You might focus on the things you feel you’re doing wrong and spend less time showing yourself compassion and kindness. But it’s essential to celebrate your parenting wins along the way. Doing so will not only alleviate some of the stress that comes with parenting, it will foster a more fulfilling lifetime rollercoaster experience of highs, lows, and in-betweens.
Let’s take a closer look at why celebrating those wins is so important.
Celebrate the wins!
When you take the time to celebrate your wins, it encourages you to reflect on the things you’ve accomplished as a parent. That can help you step away from only focusing on regrets, guilt, or mistakes and give you a real opportunity to reflect on the positives.
This kind of reflection also allows you to see growth. Maybe you did make a parenting mistake in the past, or maybe you did the best you could but with new information, you would have made different choices, or reacted in another way. Self-reflection is important for growth, balance, and for seeing the greater picture of your parenting. Remember, it’s a long (long!) game.
Boosted Confidence
If you’re feeling down about yourself and your parenting abilities, celebrating your wins can help to boost your confidence. You may just be so busy and feel so behind that you lose sight of the positives.
Just about every parent has felt like a “failure” at times. Focusing on the positive things you and your child have done can reinforce your sense of competence. This will help encourage you to stay the course, rather than falling into negative habits again.
When you foster more confidence, you may then find you also have more motivation. There’s no denying that parenting can sometimes feel like a slog. But, when you intentionally recognize the good things about your parenting, it will help you get through challenges when they inevitably crop up.
Improved Well-Being
Being unnecessarily hard on yourself as a parent can take a toll on your mental health. It can cause you to become anxious, and parenting anxiety will lead you to question every step you take with your child. And don’t forget anxiety and depression, while we often talk about them separately, can develop together. Keep an eye on yourself if you are feeling like a failure or sensing that things are hopeless.
Celebrating your wins will make it easier to fight back against feelings of stress.
You’re less likely to burn out, and your overall attitude toward parenting will be more positive. A better mental health state can cause a happier, less stressful parenting cycle.
The better your mental well-being, the less likely it is that you’ll get dragged down by negative thoughts.
A Stronger Relationship
Celebrating parenting wins and not solely focusing on mistakes can actually improve the bond between you and your child.
Don’t be afraid to share in those celebrations with them! Promote positivity in your relationship, and your child may not remember the individual events, but they will feel closer to you, and you to them.. You’ll also set an example for how to overcome challenges, persevere, and why it’s important to celebrate their own wins in life.
There is no such thing as a perfect parent.
It’s easy to come down hard on yourself when you make a mistake. But, don’t forget to celebrate everything you’re doing right, too. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary, and will allow you to enjoy the journey even when the road gets bumpy..
If you’re having a hard time celebrating your parenting wins, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. With the right support, you will find a path to recognize the many wins, and celebrate not only the wins, but your efforts too, which are not nothing 😉
