by Alena Gerst, LCSW, RYT
Anxiety is increasingly becoming known as a very common mental health issue. It doesn’t hold the stigma that it used to, which is a good thing!
Unfortunately, because the term “anxiety” gets used a lot in our regular conversations, that can also detract from understanding the real, agonizing, and limiting effect it can have on the anxious person’s life. If you are one of the lucky few who don not deal with anxiety yourself, it’s easy to make assumptions about what the condition looks and feels like.
When you love someone with anxiety, but you’ve not experienced it yourself, that can make it difficult to give them the care and support they need.
Seeing someone you care about struggling with negative anxious thoughts can be difficult. Digging deeper into your understanding of anxiety is one of the best things you can do to be a strong and helpful part of their support system.
So, how can you make sure you’re doing your part to support your loved ones?
Educate Yourself
One of the best things you can do to help those you love is to educate yourself on what anxiety really is. While it can look and feel different for everyone, there are some common symptoms to understand that can help you empathize with how your loved ones might be feeling.
While you’ll find endless information about anxiety online (and it’s a good place to start!), don’t hesitate to ask your loved ones directly about what they’re experiencing. Getting that face-to-face insight is often the best way to develop some understanding, not only what they’re going through, but how it impacts them on a daily basis.
While you may never be able to truly understand, it will likely help your anxious loved one to feel heard and know that you are trying.
Talking to the people in your life about their anxiety also gives you the opportunity to ask directly how you can help. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, so be prepared for different answers and suggestions. And be prepared for their ideas and suggestions to change form over time! Anxiety is like whack-a-mole. It is constantly shifting, and showing up in different ways.
Validate Their Feelings
It’s not uncommon for people with anxiety to feel trapped in a vicious cycle. They might feel embarrassed, guilty, or even ashamed of their anxious thoughts, and the behaviors they engage in to feel better, including avoidance. As you might expect, however, the accommodations they seek for themselves to vanquish their anxious reaction only makes the anxiety even worse.
If someone is willing to open up to you about their anxiety, try to listen without judgment. Let them know that their feelings are valid and remind them that, while you may wish you can pack up their anxiety and drop it off at the dump for them, you cannot fix it. But you’re there for them, no matter what.
Anxiety can be a lonely condition. When that person knows they have someone to turn to, even if they often don’t, it can make a big difference in how they feel.
Get Practical
Listening and providing emotional support can go a long way when you’re trying to help an anxious loved one. But, because anxiety can often be debilitating, practical help is also important.
If you know someone you care about is feeling overwhelmed by their anxious thoughts, offer to take something off of their plate that can alleviate stress. Can you watch their kids for a couple of hours so they can rest? Maybe you can go grocery shopping for them, or do a few loads of laundry.
These small things can add up quickly and give them a chance to practice self-care habits that will help with their anxious thoughts.
Encourage Help
Anxiety is often very manageable but it’s not something that goes away on its own. Keep checking in on your loved ones and offer whatever help and support you can. But, recognize that the best way to overcome it is typically to work with a mental health professional.
Therapy can help someone with anxiety understand where it’s coming from. It can also help with symptom management, so they can eventually overcome their anxious thoughts and take control of their life again.
If someone you love is struggling with anxiety, encourage them to reach out for help. Talk to them about the benefits of therapy, and offer to ride along with them for support. I’m happy to answer any questions you or your loved ones might have, so feel free to contact me for more information or to set up an appointment soon.
