By Madison Weber, MHC-LP
Ahh, the start of freshman year! Your high school freshman may be decorating their locker or finishing their summer reading list. Your college freshman may be buying decor for their dorm room or textbooks for the myriad of classes they’ve selected. While this incredibly formative period of transition may be exciting for some, it can also be stressful, nerve-wracking and overwhelming.
Transitions are a natural part of life, but they can be particularly challenging during adolescence.
As your teen stands on the brink of beginning high school or college, they are not just stepping into a new chapter academically — they’re also navigating a complex emotional and social landscape.
As a therapist who has worked with teens during these pivotal times, I want to offer some insights into how you can best support them during these major transitions.
1. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Starting high school or college can evoke a mix of emotions in your teen — excitement, anxiety, curiosity, and even fear.
These feelings are completely normal.
It’s important to create a space where your teen feels comfortable expressing their emotions without judgment. Listen actively and validate their feelings by saying things like, “It’s okay to feel nervous about this change,” or “I understand why you might be feeling overwhelmed.“
2. Encourage Open Communication
One of the most important tools in navigating transitions is communication.
Let your teen know that you’re there to talk, whether it’s about school, friendships, or their fears and hopes for the future.
However, it’s also important to respect their need for privacy and independence. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re available when they need you can be enough.
3. Help Them Develop Coping Strategies
The pressure to succeed in a new environment can be intense.
Help your teen develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing stress and anxiety.
This might include encouraging them to take breaks, engage in physical activity, or practice mindfulness.
Teaching them to break tasks into smaller, manageable steps can also help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed.
4. Promote Balance
Whether your teen is starting high school or college, it’s easy for them to become consumed by academic demands.
Encourage them to find a balance between schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and downtime.
Remind them that it’s okay to take time for themselves and that self-care is not just a luxury — it’s a necessity for maintaining their overall well-being.
5. Normalize the Learning Curve
Both high school and college come with new academic challenges, and it’s normal for your teen to struggle at times.
Normalize the learning curve by sharing your own experiences with new challenges, whether in school, work, or life in general.
Reassure them that it’s okay not to have everything figured out right away and that seeking help — whether from teachers, counselors, or peers — is a sign of strength, not weakness.
6. Support Social Connections
Social relationships play a critical role in your teen’s emotional well-being.
Encourage your teen to engage in activities where they can meet new people and build friendships.
Whether it’s joining a club, a sports team, or a study group, these connections can provide a valuable support system as they navigate their new environment.
7. Be Patient with the Process
Transitions take time, and it’s normal for your teen to experience ups and downs along the way.
Be patient and remind them — and yourself — that adjusting to a new environment is a process.
Offer consistent support and reassurance, and celebrate their successes, no matter how small.
8. Model Resilience
As a parent, your behavior has a powerful impact on your teen.
Model resilience by handling changes and challenges in your own life with grace and positivity.
Show them that while change can be difficult, it can also be an opportunity for growth and learning.
Additionally, it’s important to stay level-headed when your teen is experiencing stress or nerves within this transition. While you might share in the nerves of seeing them stressed, it is important to try and model a calm and steady energy for your teen.
9. Know When to Seek Professional Help
While most teens adjust to high school or college with time and support, some may struggle with more significant emotional challenges.
If you notice signs of prolonged anxiety, depression, or withdrawal, it might be helpful to consult a mental health professional.
Early intervention can make a significant difference in helping your teen navigate these challenges effectively.
It may also be beneficial for you to seek mental health support if you are struggling with this transition as their parent.
Final Thoughts
Starting high school or college is a monumental transition for your teen, but it’s also a significant time for you as a parent.
By offering support, understanding, and encouragement, you can help your teen not only survive this transition but thrive in it.
Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers—your presence and willingness to walk alongside them on this journey is what truly matters.
Together, you and your teen can face this new chapter with confidence, resilience, and hope for the future.
