Article by Alena Gerst, LCSW, RYT
They were some wise words uttered by my child, who inherited the anxiety gene from Yours Truly.
Upon confronting one of her primary anxiety triggers, she sucked in her breath, looked at me and said, “Mom, my anxiety is a Liar and a B****. Let’s go!”
(I confirmed with my husband that she gleaned this strongly worded wisdom from him. But still, out of the mouths of babes…)
At that moment, several years’ worth of educating and supporting her came into sharp focus.
I pictured her talking back to her anxiety, putting it in its place rather than letting it boss her around as it likes to do. I began to think of anxiety as a troll. It lurks in the depths of your mind, waiting for the *perfect* moment to POUNCE! And when it does, it wreaks havoc in your life in ways that are both visible and hidden.
The insidious nature of anxiety, and its ability to distort reality, make our work together in anxiety therapy an act of self-compassion combined with cognitive combat.
Just imagine anxiety, perched on your shoulder, ready to whisper in your ear at any time:
“Do you really belong here?”
“Are you sure you’re any good?”
“You think that’s a GOOD idea?”
So much of the work in anxiety therapy is uncovering those chronically unhelpful thoughts and self beliefs. But once you realize these thoughts are what they are, trolls, then what?
The malevolent presence of anxiety in your mind is often misunderstood, and sadly, underestimated. It wreaks havoc in your life in ways that are both visible and hidden. Much like a troll hiding under a bridge, anxiety likes to conceal itself under the surface of your awareness. It happily takes up residence in your mind, planting seeds of doubt, fear, and uncertainty.
I often tell my clients (and my child) that if a question starts with “what if,” it’s probably anxiety. You may not even realize the forcefulness and fullness of its presence in your life. The insidious nature of anxiety likes in its ability to grow quietly, feeding hungrily on your worries and insecurities. In the shadows of your mind, anxiety thrives, only revealing itself at times when you are most vulnerable.
When these vulnerable times show up repeatedly, we talk in anxiety therapy about those times as your “anxiety themes.” You may have no problem riding a roller coaster or ziplining, but feel chronically anxious when it’s time to leave your home. That’s your anxiety theme.
Just as trolls on the internet prey on those who dare to cross them, anxiety preys on your uncertainty. It strikes when you are at your weakest. Sometimes it can be a low level thrumming of quickened heart rate or physical discomfort, and sometimes the discomfort can reach an unbearable level, leading you to panic.
Strategies for Taming Anxiety
While anxiety can be an intimidating and powerful foe, there is a lot of reason to have hope. Managing anxiety takes determination, and resilience. It takes a return to triggers again and again. But rest assured, effective strategies can help you reclaim your mind, and your life!
Seek Professional Help
Just as travelers enlist the help of a guide to navigate new territory, seeking the assistance of an experienced therapist for anxiety can provide valuable guidance and support. Anxiety therapy, and sometimes along with medication, even temporarily, can be effective tools for managing anxiety. There is no reason to suffer more than necessary as you learn to cope with anxiety.
Practice Mindfulness
We hear this term thrown around quite a lot lately. But what does it mean? Mindfulness is a way of becoming more aware of what’s happening around you and in your thoughts. Mindfulness can also be a way of actively and intentionally engaging in deep relaxation techniques which can help you regain control over your fears and runaway “what if” thoughts. By grounding yourself in the present moment, you can reduce the power of anxiety’s distortion.
Challenge Irrational Thoughts
Anxiety therapy can help you challenge irrational thoughts by questioning their validity. Cognitive behavioral therapy techniques can help you identify and challenge these distorted beliefs. People are often surprised by how much disruptive and destructive habitual thought distortions are to their everyday lives.
Build a Support Network
Think intentionally about who you can rely on in your personal and social network for support when you’re struggling. This doesn’t mean you just seek out reassurance from loved ones. Counter-intuitively, constant reassurance only grows your anxiety. But sharing your struggles and seeking validation can be immensely therapeutic.
Self Care and Healthy Lifestyle
When the daily demands of life take over, it can be easy to forget that *you matter.* But taking care of your physical and emotional wellbeing can and do help you build resilience against anxiety. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep all strengthen your ability to face the everyday challenges in general, and will also give you a leg up on better managing your anxiety. At Inside Psychotherapy, we believe strongly in lifestyle as part of your comprehensive anxiety treatment approach.
Mindset Shift
A key part of the work in anxiety therapy is working on your perception of anxiety. When the anxiety troll rears its head, we drill down into areas of our life that need attention, which helps us explore any root causes of anxiety. We then work to reframe your anxiety, not as a deficit in you, but as the troll that it really is. The goal isn’t to vanquish anxiety necessarily. If you have anxiety, you have it. But you do have the ability to develop tools to manage anxiety, so that it’s not controlling your actions and your life.
In conclusion, anxiety is an unseen, persistent intruder in your mind. It’s a troll that whispers to you that things you want to do are dangerous, or pointless, so why bother? The more you give in to these messages, the more of a hold anxiety has over you.
However, with strategies and support, including therapy for anxiety to shift your mindset and your lifestyle, you can confront this invisible troll for the liar that it is. Learn to navigate bouts of anxiety with confidence, and continue to grow your tool box to face anxiety head-on. You will emerge stronger and more resilient on the other side.
